I don't have friends

It might sound really weird, especially if you know me, but I really do not have friends.
I have boys
I have my girls
I have my bestie
I have my ride or die
and I have my situation.
I have come to a point in my life where calling someone a "friend" just doesn't cut it. It doesn't seem to explain the complex relationship I have with EVERYONE. Yes everyone. There is not one person that I am truly close with that I have a simple friendship with.
I miss that I need that

When I was younger I made a "best friend" everywhere I went, with the full knowledge that I may never see that little boy or girl again. But it didn't matter. For those 2-3 hours we were in the same room, I had a new best friend.
Now I have people I have known for years and yet they are looking a little unfamiliar to me.
Some are my "friends" because we have mutual friends
Some are my "friends" because we've gone through so much crap together
And others are my "friends" because we'd rather have that then not have each other at all

Is it wrong I just want a simple friendship back?

I don't have friends.....I have explanations

I have come to realize that everyone's definition of what is a "friend" is different, and I've yet to meet someone who's definition fits mine.

It's not that I'm not that forgiving, its just I'm not that accepting. I would say I'm working on it, but that would be a lie.

Thoughts

He said he was thinking of me and wanted to see how I was doing....



Who would have thought those words would have been enough to prove that a broken heart still beats.

My Prince

So we all have that one childhood show that we cherish. I grew up watching Sailor Moon. (go ahead judge me)
That show offered me peace, laughter, and most of all hope. I hoped to one day meet my very own "Darien" (for those of you who do not know who that is...google it lol).

After my last relationship, I found myself going back to what I want in a man. (not to say my ex didnt have it, but more I was not in the position to convince him). I was brought back to Darien. He was kind and patient and sweet. Exactly what I would want when I and in my bitchy moods demanding things left and right. I saw a glimpse of my Darien in him, but I guess it was too soon to tell.

I loved this show, gives me something to look forward to