It's been awhile....
Yea that's all I could come up with.
I haven't seen your or heard from you in weeks and quite frankly I am proud of myself.
There was a time where your name was the first thing on my lips in the morning and the last thought in my mind before I went to sleep. Yea that time was yesterday.
I cannot seem to bring myself to forget you, it might have something to do with the fact that not so deep down I don't want to.
I often tell myself I'd rather not love at all than have to love from afar. To have to act like I do not care, act like I wouldn't lay my pride down in a second, for you, for us.
But I cannot afford to sacrifice myself anymore than I already have. If my worth is so great, I at the very least need to keep my currency up.
I need to wake up in the morning and get all the way dressed. Not some half assed excuse for an outfit but a full outfit with make-up dammit!
I need to force myself to bypass all those feelings of worry, and concern for you.
Why is the space I am giving you suffocating me?-----
I don't really expect an answer
I've reached the point where words are not enough.
Its been awhile
Lets see how long its really going to take
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